Supplemental Dating Information

Boys, if you've ever looked at personal ads (who hasn't?) and tried to decipher what the hell all of those trite and PC terms mean, here's a glossary to help you come to grips with what those women are trying to say!

40ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with all of your friends
Athletic - Less than ample cleavage
Average Looking - Butter face
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Heavily medicated
Educated - F*cked to hell and back in college
Emotionally Secure - Medicated
Feminist - Fat
Free Spirit - Junkie
Friendship First - Former slut
Fun - Annoying
Gentle - Dull
Large Lady - Hugely fat
New Age - Body hair problems
Old-fashioned - No BJs, buttlove and more... See Gentle.
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and/or embarrassing
Passionate - Usually sloppy drunk
Poet - Depressive
Professional - Bitch
Romantic - Frigid
Social - Has an ass that should have a "Wide Load" placard.
Voluptuous - Very fat
Wants Soul Mate - Stalker
Widow - Acquitted murderer