Drunk Canadian Cowboys

More fun than a barrel full of monkeys? We report, you decide.

Music Video of the Day

Just watch it...

Today's Lesson

How about a primer in Yiddish? (Note: A broadband connection is highly recommended.)

Holiday Countdown

Since we're down to just 27 shopping days until Christmas, how about we all celebrate diversity together?

Afghanistan Update

I see that our troops' effort to free Afganistan from the tyranny of the Taliban has resulted in something worthwhile...

From the Do-As-I-Say-And-Not-As-I-Do Dept.

Something tells me that this New Jersey family is probably a little better off now.

Holiday Countdown

Attention Consumers! You only have 28 shopping days left before Christmas.

How was YOUR Thanksgiving?

Be thankful that your family is at least a little more normal than this get together...

Holiday Countdown

3 Days until Thanksgiving
33 Days until Christmas

Crime in the City

What kind of idiots live here in Baltimore??? I had my car broken into this weekend. They didn't appear to take anything but sure decided to leave a mess in the car for me...

Oh well... There are definitely better marks out there than a 1991 Honda Civic but I guess they didn't know any better.

Holiday Gift Guide

Hunting for that special something? Here are a couple of recommendations.

1. A Childrens' Book
2. An Exotic Vacation
3. An Electronic Urinal Target
4. Blank CDs

Hell Hath No Fury...

You know the rest.

Terrorism Update

Now those dirty bastards are using poisonous toads!

Movie Review: National Treasure

Yeah... Wait for it to come on as a movie of the week on ABC Family. On the plus side, it tends to depict Freemasonry in a positive light. On the down side, typical Disney fare.

Gender-Specific Marketing

Black & Decker will soon announce a line of tools just for women.

Holiday Countdown

8 days until Thanksgiving!
38 days until Christmas!

An Interesting Proposition

I love the idea of this website! Unfortunately, due to some of their requirements (specifically, limited world-domination tendencies), I'm not sure that I would make the cut. Oh well...

Eeeew...

Even I'm willing to put tax monies into a retirement fund to put this woman out of business.

Doublespeak or Modern English?

We report, you decide.

Evening, All!

Hell must be populated with grumpy people...

What Are They Teaching In Latvian Medical Schools???

We should tape and send copies of CSI and other shows so that this doesn't happen again.

The Top 5...

Worst Places To Meet Women in Baltimore:
5. Glen Burnie
4. Wal-Mart
3. Kmart
2. Local dive bars
1. Strip clubs

Holiday Countdown

9 days until Thanksgiving
39 days until Christmas

When I'm King of the World...

The laws are all going to be rewritten so that they are easier to follow and make sense:

Taxes will be fair and equitable with fewer loopholes, deductions, penalties and restrictions.

Gasoline will be $4 per gallon to better reflect its value and to kickstart the demand for economical alternatives.

Alternative power sources will be mandated (nuclear, geothermal, solar, kinetic, etc.) along with infrastructure improvements in third world countries to quickly bring them into the modern era.

Nobody will be forced to eat brussel sprouts.

Public servants (teachers, police, fire, etc.) will be taken care of so that they can take better care of us.

There will not only be a 5 day waiting period before you can buy a gun but there'll be a 5 year moratorium on having children (from ages 18 to 23) giving young adults a chance to go to college and otherwise get their lives started.

Licenses will be required prior to the birth of children. Requirements include parenting classes, health/nutrition education and financial planning. If you cannot meet the requirements, don't expect any assistance from the government.

Birth control will be readily available. Children who have children will trigger an instant $50,000 penalty for their parents. We will collect this amount in cash immediately upon the birth of the child and there will be no allowances, deductions or excuses permitted.

The water will be medicated; happy pills for everybody!!

Stem Cell Therapy Candidate?

It makes sense to me that we start considering what we can do to improve this horrible condition.

Changes Abound

I knew that it was coming but I dreaded the thought of losing the only sane and decent person in President Bush's Cabinet... However, after 40 years of public service, his retirement is probably due.

Alcohol Abuse in Virginia

Things appear to be getting out of hand in Chilhowe...

More British News

Damn!!

From the This-Is-Wrong Dept.

Nooooooooo!

Fined for Not Respecting Patriotic Symbols?

You know... Some things make sense in this world. Others don't. Although Rosanne Barr deserved a fine for her butchering of the Star Spangled Banner, I don't see a need for a law on the books.

From the Men-Fear-Commitment Dept.

Romeo banned from lonely hearts website. Read all about it.

Bored in Your Golden Years?

Try a new career...

Have You Ever...

Been mistaken for a murderer?

A Sign of Things to Come

If a fetus is classified as a person, does that make a miscarriage a case of manslaughter? Hopefully, we won't have to find out.

The Results Are In

Well, at least a prediction is in. Four more years, huh? Well, at least I have the smug satisfaction that I most likely won't be alive when our children and grandchildren struggle to pay off the massive deficits being rung up (at about $19,000 per second) to benefit us now without an apparent plan to pay for these expenditures.