Merry Christmas!

Here's a classic for everybody...

I Figured It Out!

I know who I pissed off earlier this month...

I refuse to embarrass her by calling her out though. Let's just say that I was right, people shouldn't drunken dial!

British Hospital Gets Serious

And to think that I've actually been to Lincolnshire for them to make the headlines...

That Sound You Hear...

It's the sound of civil liberties being shredded and tossed out the back by GWB.

The Pacific Northwest

Where else in the contiguous United States can you find views like these?

Mount Rainier at dawn (photo by Mark Johnson)
Southern Rainier Valley in the fog (photo by Brian Annas)

One More Day!

Woohoo!! Going skiing tomorrow.

That is all.

SNOW!!

Yeah...

We got our first taste of snow here in the Mid-Atlantic. Better yet, the local ski resort is opening up on Friday and I'm headed up Sunday.

Git 'r done!

Who Did I Piss Off This Time?

Well, last night while I was asleep, somebody decided to call me and leave a voice mail. I'm not sure if it was meant as a joke, but why not? In fact, take a listen and judge for yourself! Conclusive proof that people should never drunken dial... Let's discuss the items raised in the message, shall we?

"Mr. Jerry McKinley."
Yep, that's me.

"Small penis."
Compared to King Kong? Sure.

"Like electronics."
I resemble that statement.

"I'd like to think that you hooked up with a night owl or old owl."
Think whatever you like but first, please explain what the hell an old owl is.

"Your dick is purple."
Only when he's feeling festive!

"And you are Asian."
Close enough! For those of you keeping score, I'm half-Philippino.

"You just bathe with soap. What is the matter with you? You don't like using fragrant bubbles?"
What's wrong with using soap? And what does it matter if it's fragrant or not?

"This is personal, bastard."
Hey! I was born to a very happily married couple so call me what I am... Either a jerk or an asshole.

"You need some deodorant."
I happen use deodorant/anti-perspirant every day.

"That's what we do here in America. If you goin' to live here, you're gonna bathe like us and you're gonna wear deodorant like us and you're gonna shave like us."
Hey, princess. I was born in the United States and am a citizen of this country. If you think that I'm out of the norm, try hanging out at a commune or a Dave Matthews Band concert!

"I'm just giving you some personal advice here. So clean yourself up and you can meet some more women."
Thanks for your opinion. I'm not sure that I should be taking advice from you; you seem a little bitter or brittle. :)

If not, wear your robes and your turbans...
We already established that I'm Asian. Robes, perhaps but turbans?!? How ignorant are you?

...and keep not taking a bath and not wearing deodorant... You're going to be alone for the rest of your life.
I'm prepared for that possibility, however unlikely it is. Are you?

God be with you, honey.
And may God be with you as well, dear.