Drivers' Ed

This should be mandatory testing before you are even allowed to crack open the book.

Today's Commercial

I know that it's been out for a while but this is still a great advertisement!

Stupid Marketing Strategies 101

I wish I could have been an observer in the decision-making process for the music industry...

1. Our product sucks, so let's make more of it!
2. How about recycling material with fresh faces through programs like American Idol?
3. Suing children and dead people seems to have backfired... I don't know why!
4. Online distribution hasn't replaced the margins we had on CDs and tapes.

So... Coming soon, you'll be able to legally download music for free via an advertising supported website.

Disgusting...

I hope that Wolfgang Priklopil rots in Hell for all eternity for what he's done.

The Perfect Woman (with The Perfect Attitude)

1. I'll swallow it all... I love the taste!
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored... Let's shave my pussy!
4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out womens' asses.
12. I'll start painting the house when I'm done cutting the grass.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sundays. I just wish that you had time to play on Saturday too.
14. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!
15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
16. No no... I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
17. Your mother is way better than mine.
18. Do me a favor, forget the whole Valentine's Day thing and buy new clubs.
19. I understand fully... Our anniversay comes every year. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever.
20. Oh come on... What do you say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer and have my friend Tammy come over for a threesome?
21. Not the mall again! Let's go to that new strip club.
22. Listen, I'll make enough money for both of us. Why don't you retire and start working on getting that handicap down to a 7 or 8?
23. God, if I don't blow you soon, I'm going to burst.
24. I signed up for yoga just so I can get my ankles behind my head for you.
25. No, no, no! You stay in bed! Whatever it is, I'll take care of it. You need your sleep!

What Do You Think...?

Don't Marry Career Women
By Michael Noer

How do women, careers and marriage mix? Not well, say social scientists.

Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.

Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure…at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?

Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse's parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married--it's just that they are less likely to be so than non-working women. And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.

To be clear, we're not talking about a high-school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.

If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do (Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill (American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier (Institute for Social Research).

Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home and women have tended to do "non-market" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.

In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect. "I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says. A few other studies, which have focused on employment (as opposed to working hours) have concluded that working outside the home actually increases marital stability, at least when the marriage is a happy one. But even in these studies, wives' employment does correlate positively to divorce rates, when the marriage is of "low marital quality."

The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."

There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.) Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.

And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually-transmitted disease. Plus divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.

So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. According to a 2004 paper entitled "What Do Social Scientists Know About the Benefits of Marriage?" marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances," higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.

A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.

The Mid-August Report

I am exhausted...

The mid-Atlantic heat wave has broken for the weekend and weather is actually cooler than the average for this time of year. Unfortunately, it's still only August. That means that it's still summer and this weekend was just a brief respite from the heat and humidity.

Summer also means hurricane season. Looks like the Atlantic is being spared but it could be considered still early.

What else have I been up to...? I've been looking at property in New Jersey and New York City... I'd move given the right opportunity. Don't know where I'd live... Weehawken and Hoboken seem like very likely candidates as they would give me exceptional access to New York City and I wouldn't have to go through the tunnels every day. Of course, if I were wanting property instead of a condo with a view of Manhattan, then I'm going to be looking at the areas surrounding possible work locations. Ideally, I'd be no further than the 35 miles I am today from my office.

Hmm... Oh, yes. I've also been giving serious thought and consideration to trading in the convertible and getting a hybrid. Even if it's a wash between the higher car payment and the lower ongoing fuel costs, it makes sense for the environment since I commute further and longer than the American average.

Actually, that kind of brings up a rant for me... Why is it that it is so difficult for people to afford living close to where they work? If you want a decent life, you shouldn't spend all of your time working (I fail there) but why should you sacrifice so much of your own time with your family or personal pursuits sitting in traffic?

Well, that should do it for now. I'll post something interesting during the week, I'm sure.

Cool Office Pranks

I have to give this a try some time...

A Day At The Shop

There are some interesting jobs out there...

Seen Office Space?

Well, you haven't seen it until you've seen it in BUN-O-Vision.

How much time is left...?

Well, it looks like the tipping point is rapidly approaching us.

I'm not a psychic but based upon what's going on today, I'd give us a limited number of generations before life as we know it is over.

Since oil doesn't have much likelihood of coming down in price or availability, in the short term, look for the cost of everything to go up due to processing, transportation and packaging costs.

Since the oceans are becoming toxic to the forms of life that we're familiar with, look for sushi, days at the beach, fishing trips and other activities to go away within two generations.

Since most people don't care until things impact them directly, look for pollution and mass extinctions to continue unabated until it's too late...

Intellectual Property Rights

So... Let's say somebody (we'll call him Kris) takes some photos and posts them online for folks to enjoy.

Now, along comes somebody else (we'll call him Kevin) alledgedly visits Kris's website, likes the photos, downloads them and then claims them as his own. In addition to this, Kevin then has the cajones to sue Kris for stealing his pictures.

Well, as much as I'd like to claim that this is fiction, it's sadly not. Kris Krug and Kevin Corazza are both real people. Read more here.

Coming Soon...

Batteries that can be recharged in an instant and never lose capacity.

In Other Robot News

A Japanese inventor/tinkerer/madman has created a one-ton armored battle suit. You too can have one for just $300,000 US.

Greetings

I, for one, welcome our new robot masters...

Today's Asinine News

Today's story comes from Pennsylvania.

Man arrested and charged with driving under the influence... From the passenger's seat!

Power Bill Got You Down?

Don't do what this man did...

Good God...

I demand that people take responsibility for their lives. You just can't have your cake and eat it too!